by Wilton H. Strickland

Almost four years have passed since I shared a few tips about how to enhance your writing. During that time, I’ve witnessed the ongoing deterioration of language to the point where I now find it taxing to read emails or even news articles and court filings (which are supposed to be professional). All of them are so littered with mistakes that I often have to strain to decipher the intended meaning. I firmly believe that if you cannot say what you mean, then you cannot mean what you say. For what it’s worth, I will describe some of the errors that are creeping across the literary landscape so that you can rise above them.

“Literally”

The use of this word has exploded far beyond its narrow application, rendering it near meaningless. If a statement creates potential confusion between whether it is meant in a figurative or literal sense, the speaker can add “literally” to avoid misunderstanding. Otherwise, it is redundant or just wrong. Here are some examples:

• “A whale is literally a mammal.” Redundant because there is no figurative meaning that might create confusion.

• “This box literally weighs a ton.” Correct if it clarifies that the box weighs 2,000 pounds. Incorrect if it means just that the box is very heavy.

• “I’m literally about to explode.” Correct if you have a timebomb strapped to you. Incorrect if you’re just angry.

• “You literally broke my heart.” Incorrect because if your heart were literally broken, you would be dead. The sentence is obviously figurative and requires no clarification.

“Hung” Versus “Hanged”

The past tense of “to hang” varies depending on the object of the hanging. If you are referring to a human who was executed, the past tense is “hanged.” If you are referring to anything else, the past tense is “hung.”

“Podium” Versus “Lectern”

A podium is something you stand on, such as after an Olympic event when receiving a medal (the prefix “pod-” denotes feet). A lectern is something you stand at, especially when reading something to an audience (the prefix “lect-” denotes reading).

“Paid” Versus “Payed”

“Paid” is the past tense of the verb “to pay,” as in money. “Payed” is the past tense of a different verb that is used in nautical contexts (e.g., to waterproof joints, or to “pay out” a rope or chain by slackening). I run into the word “payed” quite often these days, but never with regard to boating.

“An Historic Occasion”

The article “an” is used before words that begin with a vowel sound, not before words that begin with a consonant sound. When pompous public speakers finally get the memo on this, it will be a historic occasion.

“The Reason Why . . . Is Because”

In a prior post I explained that the phrase “the reason why” is redundant. You should state the reason that something happened or why it happened, but not both at the same time. Lately, however, I’ve noticed that the additional phrase “is because” has been appearing next to or near “the reason why,” creating a trifecta of tautology.

“Please RSVP”

The term “RSVP” is an initialism of the French phrase “répondez s’il vous plaît” (“respond if you please”). There is no need to add “please” in English, which is redundant.

“UFO” Versus “Flying Saucer”

The term “UFO” is an initialism for “unidentified flying object,” meaning that the nature and origin of the object remains undetermined. It might be a balloon, a trick of the eye, a visitor from another solar system, or something else. This simple meaning was lost on a professional newscaster, who was describing an airplane’s close encounter with a mysterious object and said, “We don’t know if it’s a UFO yet.” Yes, we do know it’s a UFO, precisely because its nature and origin remain undetermined. We may not know whether it’s a flying saucer operated by aliens, but that’s a different story.

“Busses” Versus “Buses”

I once read a news article that discussed a local shortage of school “busses,” and I couldn’t help but chuckle. The word “buss” means “kiss” (similar to the Spanish word “beso”). I doubt that the local schools need more busses. They might, however, need more buses. The same distinction applies to bussing (kissing) versus busing (transporting).

“Fifth Wheel” Versus “Third Wheel”

The expression “fifth wheel” describes something or someone beyond what is necessary. Confusion creeps in when a person is the literal third in a group but the figurative fifth wheel, which often leads to misnaming the person a third wheel. If you feel unnecessary to a group, you are the fifth wheel regardless of what number you are in the group.

“One-Dimensional” Versus “Two-Dimensional”

If you’re discussing mathematics or geometry, either one of these phrases might pop up occasionally. However, if you’re describing someone or something as shallow, simplistic, or bland, the phrase you’re looking for is “two-dimensional” (i.e., flat, not just a straight line).

“Straitjacket”

This is the proper spelling of the restrictive garment used on unruly prisoners or patients, not “straightjacket.”

“Inflammable”

“Inflammable” means that which is capable of catching fire (i.e., becoming inflamed). The more common word “flammable” is a neologism that was invented to avoid dangerous confusion, but it has created some new confusion because many people now mistakenly think that “inflammable” means fireproof. It doesn’t. You can use “nonflammable” for that purpose. As an aside, an older version of Strunk and White’s The Elements Of Style gives a hilarious description of how this confusion started:

“Flammable.” An oddity, chiefly useful in saving lives. The common word meaning “combustible” is inflammable. But some people are thrown off by the in- and think inflammable means “not combustible.” For this reason, trucks carrying gasoline or explosives are now marked FLAMMABLE. Unless you are operating such a truck and hence are concerned with the safety of children and illiterates, use inflammable.

“Who’s” Versus “Whose”

It’s hard to believe that this distinction needs clarification, but such is the state of modern writing. “Who’s” is a contraction of “who is.” “Whose” is the possessive form of “who.”

Tenses: The Past Versus The Past Participle

Confusion among verb tenses is something I’ve been noticing more often, particularly with regard to the distinction between the past and the past participle. The past participle is used to form compound tenses (e.g., “I have eaten”) or to describe something (e.g., “it was eaten”). For some mysterious reason, growing numbers of people are using the ordinary past tense when the participle is required (or vice versa), which makes for extremely awkward speaking and writing. Here are some examples:

• “We should have went to the party last night.” Incorrect.
• “We should have gone to the party last night.” Correct.

• “The school was ran poorly.” Incorrect.
• “The school was run poorly.” Correct.

• “The company was began by Bob.” Incorrect.
• “The company was begun by Bob.” Correct.

• “I haven’t drank anything all night.” Incorrect.
• “I haven’t drunk anything all night.” Correct.

• We should have sang Happy Birthday. Incorrect.
• We should have sung Happy Birthday. Correct.

• They sunk the ship. Incorrect.
• They sank the ship. Correct.

• They rung the bell. Incorrect.
• They rang the bell. Correct.

• She should have got vaccinated. Incorrect.
• She should have gotten vaccinated. Correct.

“Flaunt” Versus “Flout”

To flaunt something is to draw excessive attention to it. To flout something is to disregard it. Try not to flout this important distinction.

“Cue” Versus “Queue”

These words are often misused because they are homophones. In order to “queue,” you need to form a line. So, you can “cue” the music but not “queue” it, unless perhaps you’re compiling a list of songs.

“Off of”

This phrase is redundant. You can fall off the wagon without dragging “of” into your troubles.

“Phased” Versus “Fazed”

“Phased” refers to something being accomplished in stages. “Fazed” refers to the experience of being shocked or unsettled.

“Hoard” Versus “Horde”

“Hoard” can be used as a noun or a verb to describe how someone has accumulated an excessive number of items. “Horde” is a noun referring to an excessive number of people. For example, when describing the Mongol Empire during the Middle Ages, the horde consisted of the soldiers, while the hoard consisted of what they carried off with them.

“Masseuse” Versus “Masseur”

A woman who gives massages is a masseuse. A man who gives massages is a masseur. My understanding is that “massage therapist” is the preferred term nowadays, so you can dodge the confusion entirely or clear it up by using the correct, gender-specific term.

“Isle” Versus “Aisle”

An isle is a small island. An aisle is a passage you walk through when looking for a good seat in a theater or when browsing for groceries.

Using A Question Mark In A Declarative Sentence

A growing trend in modern life is “uptalk” or “upseak,” when the speaker uses rising intonation at the end of a sentence even though not asking a question. This might make the speaker sound unsure or uninformed, which is the subject of ongoing debate. For purposes of writing, though, you should use the question mark only in interrogative sentences rather than declarative ones. The following are examples of improper (and grating) use of the question mark in declarative sentences:

• “I don’t think you’re right?”

• “I didn’t get your voicemail?”

• “I wonder where they went to dinner?”

• “I hate when people misuse the question mark?”

Using The Correct Pronoun When Making Comparisons

This last error is so prevalent that you can automatically distinguish yourself by avoiding it. I’m not discussing preferred gender pronouns, but rather the correct pronouns when comparing people’s qualities regardless of gender. In these situations, the subjective rather than objective pronoun is used because it indicates a continued line of thought that is normally left unsaid, as follows:

• “He is stronger than me.” Incorrect.
• “He is stronger than I (am).” Correct.

• “You are smarter than him.” Incorrect.
• “You are smarter than he (is).” Correct.

• “They are louder than us.” Incorrect.
• “They are louder than we (are).” Correct.

• “She looks the same as me.” Incorrect.
• “She looks the same as I (look). Correct.

To be fair, there are situations involving direct action where an objective pronoun may be used instead of a subjective pronoun, but it depends on the intended meaning:

• “Bob loves football more than me.” Correct if the intended meaning is that Bob loves football more than Bob loves the speaker. Incorrect if the intended meaning is that Bob loves football more than the speaker loves football.